From The Inside Out Mag.
For Personal Healing, Spiritual Growth & Development

Emotional Yoga in September: Shedding your Shame

            This is my last in this series of monthly Emotional Yoga articles.  Since September is my birthday month, it seems fitting to be ending with the emotion that lay beneath my own self-destruction and that led to the birth of Emotional Yoga: shame.  By using Emotional Yoga on myself, I was able to let go of my feelings of shame and self-blame.  I was reborn through the combination of yoga and EFT.  As I allowed this technique to heal my mind, body and soul, my bulimia, depression, and suicidal thoughts evaporated. 

            I have heard it said that guilt is the belief that “I made a mistake” whereas shame is the feeling that “I am a mistake.”  Shame is an extremely self-destructive emotion.  Oftentimes, people who feel a great deal of shame have a history of trauma or abuse.  The scope of this article is not sufficient to treat a history of trauma.  If you have been victimized at some point in your life, I urge you to seek help from a certified Emotional Yoga practitioner.  No matter how deep-seated the roots of your shame go, these techniques will help you to let go of at least some of this self-destructive emotion.

If you feel that there is something wrong with you, like you are unworthy of love or somehow unacceptable, shame may be the underlying issue.  When present, shame pervades so many areas of life, from sexual expression to work performance to socialization.  Recovering a sense of self-worth from your feelings of shame is the critical first step in bringing about wholeness and healing.  So how can you convert your shame to self-respect?  Try Emotional Yoga.

Emotional Yoga combines yoga with the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).  Yoga excavates stored emotions in your body and EFT balances the body’s energy system by tapping on energetic meridian points so that negative emotions dissipate.  By combining yoga and EFT, Emotional Yoga can emancipate you from the belief that you are a mistake thereby freeing you to live a life that isn’t marked by self-punishing thoughts and behaviors.  The effects will radiate outward and you will find yourself making healthier choices and being able to own your innate worth.  You’ll be able to make mistakes without hating yourself as a result.  You’ll be proud of your humanness rather than critical of your own vulnerabilities.  The following two-step process will show you how to combine yoga and EFT in an effective sequence for letting go of your shame and moving into self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. 

Emotional Yoga Sequence for Shedding your Shame

Shame seems to be rooted in sexuality, creativity, and source energy.  Physically, this emotion corresponds to the groin, pelvis, hips and abdomen.  Yoga poses that activate these areas of stored body pain can bring about feelings of shame and help you to look at where your shame comes from and how it impacts you physically, mentally, and emotionally.  With the following sequence, please don’t allow yourself to go too far into areas of shame on your own.  Anyone who has experienced significant trauma should seek a certified Emotional Yoga practitioner if he or she desires to release these issues and their energetic impact without danger of reliving the original trauma.  The goal of these techniques is to free you from negative emotions so Emotional Yoga will not force you to relive your past traumas.  Handle this emotion delicately.  I offer the following as the beginning of the end of your shame.  By tapping into the source energy in the center of your body, especially in the hips, pelvis and groin and tuning into the shame that resides within your body, you can then release the stored shame and begin to love and accept yourself.

1. Begin by sitting in Easy Pose. Focus on your breath, on finding your equilibrium. Close your eyes and allow yourself to tune in to your body and to reflect upon those things in your life that are causing you to feel ashamed.  Take a few deep, slow breaths.
2. Touch the heels together, allowing the knees to splay out to the sides into Cobbler’s Pose.  Imagine that the pelvis and hip areas between the knees are the center of your shame.  Bend over this area, allowing the torso to extend forward over the legs.  Visualize your torso as a covering for the shame stored in your hips.  Ask yourself: “What am I ashamed of that I am trying to cover up?”  Return to Easy Pose and tap out your answer using the EFT sequence below.
3. Lay down on your back with the heels together and the knees out to the side in Reclined Cobbler’s Pose.  Again, think about the hip and pelvis area as being the areas where your body stores shame.  With the arms outstretched overhead, allow yourself to get in touch with what it feels like to open your shame as your knees fall open.  This feeling of vulnerability, openness, and exposure can promote an intense feeling of physical and emotional discomfort.  Breathe in this position for several breaths and ask yourself: “What about my past makes me feel vulnerable and exposed?”  Return to Easy Pose.  Tap out your answer using EFT.
4. Come onto hands and knees.  Step your right leg between your hands and extend the arms overhead in Anjaneyasana (Low Lunge).  Feel the sensation in the left thigh and hip, allowing the sensation of stretching to build up.  Switch legs and allow yourself to experience this stretch on the other side.  Focus on the feelings in the legs and hips.  Ask yourself: “What am I ashamed of in my past that makes me uncomfortable now in the present?”  Return to Easy Pose.  Tap out your answer using EFT.
5. Take Pigeon Pose with the right leg forward.  Rock your hips back and forth, accessing the hipbones and feeling the sensation in the hips.  Allow the weight of the body to press against the front leg, deepening the stretch.  Ask yourself: “What relationship taught me to feel shame?  What person in my life made me feel ashamed of myself?”  Return to Easy Pose and tap out your answer using EFT.
6. Take Pigeon Pose with the left leg forward.  Rock your hips back and forth, accessing the hipbones and feeling the sensation in the hips.  Allow the weight of the body to press against the front leg, deepening the stretch.  Ask yourself: “What quality about myself or behavior causes me to feel the most ashamed?”  Return to Easy Pose and tap out your answer using EFT.
7. From this seated position, spread the legs apart into a Wide-Angle Seated Forward Bend and walk the hands out in front of you, allowing the groin to open fully and feeling this intense stretch throughout the pelvis.  This pose can cultivate a great degree of sexual shame since it effectively opens the entire pelvic bowl and splays the hips outward.  In this pose, ask yourself: “How does my shame affect my sexual expression or my feelings about sex?”  Return to Easy Pose and tap out your answer using EFT.
8. Come into Malasana Pose, squatting down to open the hips outward.  Allow the elbows to press against the knees, deepening the sensation of opening in the pelvis.  Breathe here.  Identify one specific episode or interaction from your past that causes you to feel ashamed.  Take a moment to focus on this memory and to experience the feeling of shame that arises when you think of this incident.  Return to Easy Pose.  Tap out this memory using the EFT sequence.

That’s it!  The whole routine will take you about 20-30 minutes.  You’ll be amazed by the results! 

The Emotional Freedom Technique Sequence

Although there are various levels of complexity with EFT sequencing, the following is a simple but effective version of EFT which works according to the following three step formula:

1. The Setup.
2. The Sequence.
3. Repeat the Sequence.

The Setup

Here’s how the Setup works: Repeat a neutralizing affirmation three times while rubbing “the sore spot” or tapping the karate chop point (located on the side of either hand).  

The neutralizing affirmation is very easy and works according to the following formula:

While rubbing the tender spot a few inches below your color bone or tapping the karate chop point, you say out loud “Even though I have this                                           I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” So if you are struggling with deep-seated shame about having had an extramarital affair twenty years ago, you would say, “Even though I have this shame about my affair, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

Rub the sore spot or tap the karate chop point continuously while repeating the EFT affirmation three times out loud and focusing upon the problem or emotion.

The Sequence

The tapping sequence is designed to unblock stuck energy from the body and release it. Repeat the reminder phrase (the same word or words you inserted into the underlined phrase) while tapping on the following points in the following order:

1. EB – Eyebrow
2. SE – Side of the Eye
3. UE – Under the Eye
4. UN – Under the Nose
5. CH – Chin
6. CB – Collarbone
7. UA – Underarm
8. CR – Crown of the Head

Tap the points in the above sequence as outlined. Do so with slight pressure, not to the point of pain. Use two fingers to tap. I suggest tapping both sides of the body at the same time with one hand on each side to achieve maximum effect.

The Sequence (again)

Repeat the tapping sequence (outlined above), careful to repeat the reminder phrase while tapping down the body points mentioned above from top to bottom.

More specific information about how Emotional Yoga works can be found at www.emotionalyoga.info.  

By Daralyse Lyons

Daralyse Lyons is the originator of Emotional Yoga: Combining Yoga and EFT for fun, flexibility and freedom. She is a Certified Yoga Instructor. She received her Yoga Teacher Training at the Yoga Education Institute (a Registered Yoga Alliance School). She has also been trained in Advanced Level EFT. She works with individuals, couples, and groups to help people transform themselves and their lives. More information about Emotional Yoga can be found at www.emotionalyoga.info

Comments(1):

1. Just discovered your articles I will go back and read the older ones

   Saturday, October 15, 2011 Tim

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