From The Inside Out Mag.
For Personal Healing, Spiritual Growth & Development

by Michele Geyer

Oneness: The existence of a subtle energy web that interconnects all things.

Individuation: Integration of human components and recognition of one's true self and soul path.

Embracing the Dichotomy:

I love the Yin Yang symbol. To me it is the single most significant and descriptive symbol representing the nature of the Universe and each one of its laws. Every primary Universal Law is contained within the Yin Yang symbol including "Oneness," which is represented by the encirclement of masculine and feminine crescents within.

Together, black and white snuggle against one another inside the circle; they are one with the whole, on some level equal and balanced parts of individuality: day and night, active and receptive, cause and effect, the fire and water in all life. Separately, these crescents are each undifferentiated components of the whole; viable parts, yet not the whole idea.

Our souls are similar as they are the center of our own personal being-ness, components of our individual bodies, part and parcel to the spirit that surrounds us, weaves through us, and is knitted into everything in the known Universe. Spirit, by its nature, is "Oneness." It belongs to no one in particular, although we are all contained within it and it is held inside us.

The soul is about the size of our fist and is a reflection of our individual hearts. We are solely responsible for our hearts, physically, emotionally and energetically. It is also our individual responsibility to complete our soul's mission during the lifetime in which we exist, rather than expecting some other being, human or benevolent, to care-take us.

Spirit is like connective tissue and is reflected in the body as an intricate fabric that weaves through organs, into bones, around nerves and blood vessels, connecting our internal body parts and the skin that overlays it all. Going a bit deeper, the subtle or spiritual bodies connect via the nerves which are spiritual energy channels or nadis, into the chakras.

Our subtle bodies are the energetic templates for our physical existence. They are also fractals of the Universal web or spiritual network. Fractals are microcosms, self-similar and infinite pieces of the macrocosm, the Universal hologram. It is infinitely self-perpetuating.

Even though we are naturally and permanently connected with the macrocosm, I don't believe we can be truly one with the Universe without first recognizing and embracing our individuality. When our individuality is not fully owned, it acts like a distortion or a glitch, a heavy anchor pulling on the spiritual matrix, expecting to be dragged along.

It's easy to claim a belief in "Oneness" and then to avoid responsibility for our actions as separate, contributing human beings in the world. Rather than being synergistically Yang--a giving, active, vital force of life, and or Yin--open, welcoming energy; it's much easier to be complacent and apathetic or angry and forceful. This way we don't have to work as compassionately and diligently, instead riding in someone else's wake or waiting for God to send a knight in shining armor, or for the wind to blow us into the magical palace of our dreams.

This creates a heck of a lot of drag on the boat. Imagine if everyone did it this way!

When we are not operating in that constantly shifting sweet spot, a sometimes chaotic, alternately systematic and balanced form of Yin /Yang, our energy rests heavily on the "Oneness" network. When we are all spirit and no soul, or even vice versa, we have not yet claimed our inheritance.

What some may call entitlement, I call ownership. It's our job to claim our power, the gifts of abundance, prosperity and connection to all things. We also need to own everything in our lives, remembering that it all "happens" as part of our own creation; it is our calling and at some point was our deepest desire, to be part of this enigmatic thing we call Heaven on Earth; Yin and Yang.

Personal Story:

One of my biggest fears is loneliness, and up until about the last 13 years or so I've also been confused about its accessory, aloneness. Throughout my life and in reaction to my loneliness, I would search out and find a new mate every time I was alone. Each time I mated, I was lonelier than ever while in the partnership, never understanding that being alone wasn't the same as being lonely.

Now, I realize that I was only lonely for myself. My soul was crying out to be seen, heard and honored. Instead, I projected my needs and my feelings of lack onto my 2 husbands and 4 live-in boyfriends along the way. I also held really big expectations, mostly unspoken, to be loved and cherished by each of those men.

I couldn't love myself because in my mind I was somehow never enough in any circumstance, much less one of those relationships, yet I had no trouble projecting my needs onto my men. It was always their responsibility to "make me" feel loved, to see my gifts and contributions, to hold me in high esteem. With that in place, I could continue to deny my self-loathing, and especially, my loneliness.

Some of those men tried, yet ultimately they could never please me and I eventually sent them packing. I blamed them so I wouldn't have to face my own responsibility. I blamed them so I could continue my wishful thinking that out there, somewhere, was the man for me.

This was definitely a Yin-Yang imbalance. My state of being was so far from individuation I couldn't see it with a telescope. With all the mental and emotional yo-yoing, I wasn't able to hold Yin or Yang. I craved being one with my mates. I craved touch and togetherness; I craved attention like an abandoned baby. If I had these things around me, I could believe in myself and hold onto a false sense of belonging.

It was never "Oneness," of course; it was enmeshment that I craved. I had deluded myself into believing that I was part of a couple even though the moments when I could actually hold onto the belief were very slippery, indeed.

These stories I made up, and the states of being I believed to be real, were so incredibly empty. I came away from my last relationship lonelier than ever, and one day I had to face myself without a partner for what is now 13 years.

I have found my own masculine energy and the cultivation of that essence helps my feminine energy get stronger too. I don't always feel balanced in any given moment or even capable of meeting situations with that perfect blend of Yin and Yang.

And, it doesn't really matter because now I truly love being alone.

Awareness Exercise:

Sit comfortably, feet on the floor, hands in your lap. Take a few deep breaths through your mouth, exhaling the hot wind from deep in your belly.

Now take a few relaxing breaths through your nose with your mouth closed. Breathe up from your pelvic floor into your head through the depths of your spine; breathe back down the spine. Repeat this a few times.

Next, inhale through the nose visualizing the breath moving up the spine again. This time, as you exhale, watch as the breath spirals, winding around and down the spine to the pelvic floor again. Repeat this cycle at least 9 times and up to 21 times in increments of 3. Stay in the Center of your Head, focusing on the breath as it moves up and down.

How do you feel? What do you see, sense or notice?